Write emails in Spanish.

Le he llamado para decirle una mentira. ¿Qué necesidad tenía yo de eso...? Pero lo he hecho por el simple motivo de quedar por encima de él, pero me puso nerviosa. Me sigue afectando. Lo curioso es que no me dio tristeza sólo miedo y nerviosismo de sentir su rechazo y volví a sentirlo cuando le llamé. ¿Cómo puede ser tan frío y desconocido, después de lo que hemos vivido, compartido y pasado? Yo creo es porque está respaldado por otra persona...

Llegará a querer a alguien más que a mí? Que nadie me responda a eso porque me da miedo saber la respuesta. Es algo que se me quedará muy dentro y jamás podré sacármelo. Qué raro que yo prefiera la duda antes de un camino. A mí nunca me gustaron los términos medios y me toca tragarlos...

Creo que todo nos hace cambiar poco a poco aunque no queramos que paz con uno mismo...¡¡y para toda la vida!!

Te abraza,

Carmen

Both these versions, written and translated by native speakers, are intended to read in correct Spanish and English with appropriate registers.

Dear Marta

Here I am at work; the kids are doing their final exams. I never thought I would end up in this situation and here I am...

I called him to tell him a lie. Why did I need to do that? I did it for the simple reason to get the better of him - but he made me nervous. It still affects me. The funny thing is, I did not feel sadness but only fear and worry to feel his rejection and I felt it again when I called him. How can he be so cold and as though he did not know me after all we have lived through, shared and after all that has happened. I think it is because he is being backed up by somebody else...

Will he end up loving someone else more than he loved me? Please do not answer that question because I am afraid to know the answer. It is something that will remain deep inside and I shall never be able to bring it out. How strange that I should prefer doubt rather than take a clear road ahead. I never liked to do things by halves and now I have to take the medicine...

I think everything makes us change little by little even though we only want to be at peace with ourselves...and for the rest of our lives!

Your best friend

Carmen